The Little Ways My Body Tells Me It's Struggling

I haven’t been here in a while.
Sitting silently. The quiet before everyone wakes up.
It’s usually where I find myself again but lately, it’s been a struggle.

My body wakes me up at 5am every morning, no alarm clock needed.
And instead of getting up, I’ve just been…laying there.
Tired, unmotivated, telling myself, “I’ll do it during lunch or while the baby takes a nap.”
You know how that goes.

And now my body is yelling at me.
Everything feels tight. My mood has been off. I’m cranky, irritable, just…not myself.
If you saw me in Target looking a little rough, just know its been a struggle.
My body has been trying to get my attention.

This morning, I finally rolled out my mat, in the dark, half awake and instantly thought…this is what I’ve been missing.

Not the workout part.
Not the productivity.
Just…the feeling.
The sigh my body lets out when I finally slow down enough to hear myself again.

I forget how much this helps me.
How those quiet minutes loosen everything - my shoulders, my thoughts, the weight I don’t even realize I’m carrying.

I need this.
Not to be disciplined, but to be okay.
To think clearly.
To feel like me again.
To not snap at everyone before 9am.

So I’m trying to get back into it.
To remember this feeling.
To want this feeling enough to get out of bed when my body wakes me up without an alarm (cuz how awesome is that - I hated that sound waking me up).

I guess what I’m learning is…our bodies always know when we’re not taking care of ourselves.
And they’ll nudge us, then whisper, then yell until we slow down enough to listen.

So here I am.
Listening again.
Starting again.
Softly.